The power of consent: More than just romance

February is often associated with love and romance, making it a timely opportunity to highlight the importance of consent. Although many people first think of consent in the context of sexual relationships, it plays a fundamental role in all our relationships, from friends and coworkers to medical providers.

In the context of sexual relationships, consent is defined as a clear and voluntary agreement between individuals to participate in specific activities. Understanding and respecting boundaries is essential for fostering healthy relationships and ensuring all parties feel safe and valued.

Sex should never be an expectation in any relationship, according to Alejandra Moreno, health educator with Texas A&M University Health Services. She emphasizes that consent is always required—whether the people are married, dating or in a situationship (a romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established). At every stage of a relationship, she said, sharing an intimate moment should be a choice, not an obligation.

“Everyone has the right to make decisions about their own body, actions and personal space,” Moreno said. “Consent allows individuals to communicate their boundaries with their partner, fostering respect and mutual understanding.”

While consent is essential in sexual activity, it also plays a key role in many other interactions, including romantic, platonic and professional relationships.

“Think about interactions with friends—if someone suddenly holds your hand in public without your consent, it might make you uncomfortable,” Moreno said. “Consent is about respecting personal autonomy and each other’s boundaries, whether in friendships, family relationships or professional settings.”

Another informal example of consent is asking and receiving permission to borrow a roommate’s clothing or other belongings. Instead of assuming it’s alright to borrow even a pencil, it’s a good idea to ask and discuss what items in the space are communal and which ones require consent to access.

In all situations, Moreno recommends thinking of FRIES, which means consent should be:

• Freely given—the choice should be made without pressure, manipulation or the influence of substances.
• Reversible—you can change your mind at any time.
• Informed—you can only consent to something if you know the full details.
• Enthusiastic—you should actively want to participate in what’s happening.
• Specific—saying “yes” to one activity (like making out) does not mean saying “yes” to something else (like sex).

Having conversations about consent can be uncomfortable and sometimes difficult. Consider working with a trusted individual first to practice speaking about consent out loud and considering how to address the other person’s responses.

Talking about consent doesn’t have to be a somber conversation. When talking about being intimate for the first time with a partner, start the conversation with less stressful topics like kissing. Establish each other’s boundaries together and then move forward in conversation about other sexual activities.

Looking to start a conversation about consent or need more information? Check out University Health Services’ TELUS Health Student Support App, which connects Texas A&M students with free, confidential professional counseling available 24/7 via app, telephone and web. Want to engage with other students about consent? Try one of University Health Services’ group counseling sessions. For more student mental health resources, visit the University Health Services website.